As long as I can, my beloved son, I will look at the world for both of us.
As long as I can, I will see the beauty in a hurricane.
As long as I can, I will laugh, for both of us.
As long as I can, I will sing the songs that you can no longer sing.
I will tell the stories that you can no longer tell.
As long as I can, I will love and support those who need me, because you
Believed I could.
As long as I can, I will live, I will laugh, I will love, I will dance, I will pray, I will cry
For both of us.
As long as I can, I will make every effort I can to see that no other parent
Ever has to live my lifemare.
For as long as I can, I will ensure that your death was not in vain.
For you, and your brother, my amazing sons, I am going to walk 20 miles in Chicago
raising money for suicide prevention. You would have run those miles, never breaking
a sweat. I will walk, or perhaps, crawl them. For you, and your brother. For Justin. For
Douglas. For Jay. For Peter. For Glen. For Christine. For Nicola. For Ralphie. For all the
others who found the pain to stay was greater than the pain to go.
For as long as I can, I will remind people that suicide is a permanent solution to a
temporary problem. For as long as I can. I will tell people that you did not just end
your life. You ended mine, too.
I love you Jason. To the stars, the moon and back again, to the end of time, I love you.
Your little Mother
To read more of Jason and Rick’s story, please visit
then type in Brenda Adkins
JASON LEE GRUBBS
August 5, 1974 - May 7, 2000
You can Help