Running with the Wind
We've Lost Another One
Just another morning cup of tea
Graham Nash wrote these words after the death of George Harrison. He'd lost another friend, and wanted to honor his friend's memory.
I've lost another friend, and I'd like to honor his memory.
I've known Todd for a long time. He never came in the restaurant without coming into the bar to say, "Hi, Miss Brenda!". I ordered wheat beer for him, because he liked it. Then he liked Land Shark before it was widely available, so I got that for him, too. Always smiling. Always laughing. Infectious laughter. I last saw him shortly before I went to visit my Marcia.
We talked about football, and the holiday season, and how business on the beach hasn't been so good this year. He smiled and laughed when he left. "See you soon!". I didn't know that was the last time I'd see him.
Todd had some mountains to climb that no one knew about. He had a home, a wife, a baby, a seemingly perfect life. He was tailgating at the football game last weekend. Someone said that he was happier than they had seen him in a long time.
Last night, Todd's demons won. He ended his life, alone at Grand Lagoon. Todd was a loving, generous person. I don't believe that he'd hurt anyone deliberately. I don't think he knew how much pain his death would cause.
Instead of a bright future, his children will be raised with only his memory. His friends will be forever effected by his death, as they try to understand "why?????". There will be a lot of "if I had....." and "I should have....." and "I would have......."'s. His grandparents are never going to be the same. And his Mom? Todd didn't just end his own life. He ended hers, too.
Please, remember how short life is. It can be gone in an instant. Please don't leave the words unsaid. If you've been hurt by others, and are shutting yourself away from the world so it doesn't happen again, stop. Get out there and live your life. Life is meant to filled with love and joy and laughter and hope. Color outside the lines and dance in the rain. Cherish time with friends and family. Don't waste it.
Treat people with more kindness than you have to. You don't know what battles they are fighting, what mountains they are climbing, what demons they are battling. Treat everyone you see as if it is the last time you'll see them.... because it might be. Stop arguing over silly things. Reach out your hand, and accept the love that is offered.
Tonight I am very sad. The senseless death of a young man with a bright future sends me spiraling back to the deaths of my own sons. I'm going to crawl in bed with Bama and my bunny, and hold my bunny tight. I'm learning how to cry again. So, tonight, I'm gonna cry. For Todd. For Jason. For Rick. For Doug and Ralphie and Jay and Justin. For Daniel and Anthony and John. For Christine and Peter and Glen and Tony and Peter. For me. Tonight, I'm going to go ahead and cry. Or at least I'm going to try to. Then tomorrow I'll get back up and do what I can to make this world a little bit better place.
There's another song, this one by Kellie Pickler. She says it all. Life's Too Short.
The little voice in the back of my
Every cover of every magazine,
God doesn’t make mistakes.
To hate yourself.
I love you. Walk good, be blessed, and know that Angel wings surround you